Grandpa is a tranny....

When I was a girl growing up my dad and his brothers would start off their childhood stories like this. "When I was a little girl, before I ate a dirty dishrag......". I used to think it was real and then after I figured out it was impossible at the tender age of 12 I thought it was funny. I'm 36 years old so back then we weren't exposed to transgender issues that our kids see now. My dad and my uncles could make those jokes 'cause they were so absurd that is was so funny that a boy used to be a girl.

Walking though Disneyland you can pretty much see all varieties of all walks of life. I saw a transvestite that had the most gorgeous hair and nails. I wanted to stare not because he/she was a man dressed up as a woman but that he/she was meticulously dressed, heels and all. I always stare at anyone that is crazy enough to wear heels at Disneyland. Oy Vey! Resisting the temptation to ask he/she what she does to her hair I walked along watching a dad rubber neck like I've never seen as the mom was covering her kids eyes. My five year old is exposed to a lot more at five then I ever was. I was still playing with barbies at 12!

The other day we had a lesbian friend stay with us and she would casually mention her wife in conversations. Isabella asked me about girls marrying girls. I wasn't prepared to have this kind of talk for a while, but I was glad to tell her about love comes in many forms. I wasn't ready but I was glad to have an opportunity to teach my child about it before someone else did. I know a lot of people have a lot of very strong feeling about this so I will avoid the politics.

Isabella is at an age where she is very curious. Those that know her know that she is obsessed with women having babies. She also is at the age where she shares everything. If someone at the grocery store even looks at her, she will engage in a lengthy conversation about ligers or how she saw daddy give mommy a "coconut massage" and they were "starkers". I have to be careful because right now everything is a truth. If I say something it is real. It's a great age but nothing is held back and not a lot is private.

So one day when I was picking her up from her very conservative school her teacher whispers to me, horrified, that Isabella told her class that grandpa used to be a girl.

Girls just having fun

Last week my sister-in-law came to visit bringing Eva, Scarlett and Kimi with her. They have been enduring the very cold winter and were craving some sunshine. We took full advantage of each sunset. One of the days I took them to the Montage. It is so beautiful there. The beach is protected so everyone can enjoy the tide pools with out some creep destroying them. I love that they have sidewalks to the beach. It's so handy when you have a stroller. They also have a fire pit so you can sit back, enjoy the ocean views and the sunset.

I love the sunsets here because as the sun goes down you get Catalina Island in silhouette. I got to hang out with "Scarlick" and adore her while the girls were off exploring. Scarlett is the most beautiful baby. She has a face of an angel and I was so happy I got to snuggle with her!

Sunset here is a perfect place to take pictures. Don't those girls look precious?

This is Kimi. She is beautiful inside and out. I've never met someone so full of energy, love and life! Kimi shows gratitude every chance she gets. She is like a breath of fresh air. She is joy to be around because she exudes it. I am thinking of building a casita just so Kimi could have a place to live close by. She is a treasure and I was so happy to spend time with her.

Speaking of treasures, Eva is about as precious as they come. She is SO CUTE! She has a mind of her own and it not afraid of her independence. She is smart as a whip and is so observant. My sister-in-law is such a good mom. Actually, she is an excellent mother. She does an amazing job, probably because she is an amazing person. Tammy is family and a friend. She is stunningly gorgeous and very funny. Clint was missing out so he hopped on a plane and came out for the weekend. I love having my house full of guests. We cooked healthy and then made sure we had dessert. They introduced my to 20 second workout which it awesome. I am buying it this week for Valentines. We quilted, pigged out at Le Creperia and explored M&L. Saturday our friend Tom met us out at the pier and we had a photo shoot with the girls. They left on Sunday and we spent the day feeling lonely without them all here. I love having them here and hope that they will all visit at least once a month!

"We were on a break!"

I really want to do this whole blogging thing, I really do. I mean it! I swear! Yes, I know. The road to hell was paved with good intentions. I'm climbing back from the dead. When I don't blog it's because of two things: I'm very boring and have nothing to say or I'm very busy doing so many fabulous things that I can barely handle my business.

Things that I have done while on my hiatus that were blog worthy?

I made a 6 layer rainbow cake from scratch that took me all day to do.

I've been sewing and quilting. I'm finally making time for my Halloween quilt. By Labor day I will hopefully accomplish my Valentines projects.

I went to Utah for forever and spent time with my new niece. She is precious, just like all my other nieces.

I'm organizing my house. A very futile attempt but it's a daily exercise for insanity.

Isabella is in ballet. TOO DAMN CUTE!

And last but not least I spend my morning teaching my child to read. We are reading, working on numbers. Writing. And doing worksheets. (Worksheets will not be the death of me. Repeat until you mean it.)

I know there is more that I am missing but I am giving you lucky readers the condensed version. I love reading blogs and getting inspiration from others. My blog will probably not inspire, but if you are bored or pooping you can check in to pass the time. I was going to blog about my weekend but I think I will treat the two of you reading this to another blog post today.

Love to all!

Bojingle all the way

Iz: Momma, you have a shark swimming in your bojingles!

Me: Is bojingles the Christmas version of bogina?

Bull Dogs are Assholes.

Today is Isabella's birthday. We had a pretty fantastic day and I really can't wait to share it with all 3 of you.

Yesterday was a lazy San Clemente Sunday and the weather could not have been more perfect. All the kids were playing outside with short sleeves on. Every window in my house was open. A cool ocean breeze, if you can call it that but I am looking at the ocean while feeling the breeze.... anyway, it was divine. We planned on going out to Hapa J's to celebrate Izzy. Phil caught the wave of the day. I found $5 jeggings at Nordstrom Rack. Who couldn't love a day like that?

The cherry on top was that my beautiful little girl was attacked by a bull dog and we spent the rest of our glorious Sunday in the ER. (Insert any kind of swear word you'd like). So instead of eating Ahi Poke salad I ate Skittles and a bag of potato chips with Izzy. Poor me.

Seriously, my daughter was devastated by the attack. Her arm looked mangled and I immediately told Phil that we are going to the emergency room. Phil saw the whole thing and could barley contain a composure after seeing his baby girl attacked. I wrapped up her little arm and held her as she screamed "THAT DOG IS GOING ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!". The ultimate worst insult she could come up with.

While waiting Belly cried herself to sleep. Phil was so traumatized that he would not let go of Izzy and held her the entire 4 hours we spent at the ER.

After calming down and talking to the doctor she asked if there were any women having babies she could watch. I knew when she started talking about something inappropriate for a five year old that she would be ok.

So I spent the night and all of today sucking up to her. I have pictures and more to share but for now I can only blog while Bellie Belles is doing her business in the bathroom.

Overall it was a fantastic and magical day. I sure love that girl and every single second I have had with her these five glorious years.

Funny things that my Izzy says....

"Excuse me to do a princess noise out of my bogina"

"Dont do that! If you do that I will go freaking ape on you"

"Momma, santa doesn't bring toys to you, but I'm going to call him and you will be on the naughty list if you don't give me Salt and Vinegar chips right now"

" 3, 2, 1, 7.... You're fired"

"Momma, stop telling me to clean my room! You are a Nazi"

"Momma, for Christmas this year I want a German Shepherd with good instincts"

Bed Bug

Phil just happened to be wearing a t-shirt so I took a picture of what I come to bed to each night. Izzy takes turns using our arms as a pillow. It seems creepy but I have a lot of pictures of my peeps sleeping away. I can say I've been doing it for years...... I need help.

Isabella is turning five soon and getting too big to be sleeping with her parents every night. Especially since she has the most comfortable bed in the world, but I have to be honest. I would miss her and the tingling feeling in my hyper-extended contorted arm.

My husband Phil has been all around the world surfing, snowboarding, sailing and windsurfing. He can surf massive giant waves and board down "double black diamond" mountains. He can take on anything, even me.

My blog is a super secret blog from my husband so I can show the world how, since he has become a father, he can take on extreme cuddling.